My ever growing prayer life

My husband and I went into New York city for a long overdue date night. I hate being in the city in the dead of winter but it turned out to be a lot more fun than I expected and quite the splurge. Every couple should make time for a special occasion once in a while no matter what is going on in life. The night consisted of seeing The Screwtape Letters and then dinner at a great restaurant. I had never read or een the screwtape letters before. In fact it was while there, seated in our designated seats my husband and another viewer filled me in somewhat on what the play was about. I was not convinced I would have liked it but thankfully I will give anythiing a try once. Hey, I was jsut happy to report to those who asked weekly about my weekend plans, that I did something other than laundry or homework for classes. Phew! To be honest I felt like I lived a little that night and I was thankful. Thankful to my husband for planning tha night and thankful to God for giving us the opportunity and safe journey into the city and back. Speaking of being thankful, brings me to my topic..my prayer life.

I watched that play with eagerness and as the story unfold before me with so much humor, I relaized how serious the play actually spoke to my condition as a christian. The play focuses on Screwtape a devil and uncle of devil in training, Wormwood. These two characters communicate through letters about Wormwood’s attempts to tempt and draw away from God(the enemy) and into sin. It is a rather brilliant play if you ask me. The actors were exceptional and brought life to the reality of the battle that a christian faces very day in spiritual warfare. The many weapons of warfare that the devil uses to draw us away from the Father, to frustrate us and eventually create a divide between us and Christ. I had to do some self evaluation while watching. And what I saw was very lacking. I was actually making the devil’s job easy for him. I was not putting up a fight and even if I did, it was a lazy attempt that if I were God, I would simply turn my head and feel offended. I am so glad he is patient with me and that he loves me with an everlasting love, “ For I am sure that neither life not death, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord”. Romas 8:37-39

With that promise, how can I ever doubt that God is for me? With a promise like that, I feel guilty everytime I fail to worship him and give thanks to him and reverence him in my prayer life. We comminicate with God in the spirit. We are meant to be spiritual beings. We were created to worship God and he can only grant to us our hearts desires when we communicate and seek him. “ Seek ye first his kingdom and all these things shall be given unto you” Matthew 6:33. We are meant to live our lives on the spiritual plain, not in the natural man(the flesh) nor in the carnal( in between the world and God) God is most pleased with his children when they are living in the spirit and how can we live in the spirit unless we practice communicating with our father in the spirit through our prayers?

My prayer life oveer the years consisted mainly of me asking God to deliver me out of whatever mess I had made of my life at the time or to grant me some much desired outcome with one of my many relationships or pleading for something I was not willing to put the work into to accomplish. Yeah, my prayer life sucked. I rarely praised God just because he was my God, I spent most of my adult life either pleading with him to save me or asking for forgiveness for my deliberate sins and sometimes I even ran from him or thought I was. It was not until early 2018 that I came across a website belonging to a pastor who teaches mostly about the spiritual warfare we are in and the many ways the enemy enters our lives and can alter our destiny based on our own spiritual relationship with God. I realized that my life was far from what it could be. God did not mean for his children to live on barely getting by mode. He is able to do anything in our lives if we allow him. “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power that work within us” Ephesians 3:20. God only needs us to do our part so he could work. I have taken up spiritual warfare daily. I sing songs of praise to God before I pray in the mornings. I now take the time to worship him as the one true God, read his word and pray according to his word and his promises. I now use the scriptures in my prayers and I just spend time in his presence. I now find myself looking forward to my time in my closet space ( small storage room), I am finally getting my prayer life in order. “Draw nigh unto God and he will draw nigh unto thee” James 4:8. In order to ward off satans schemes and evil plots in my life, I had to change up my prayer life. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from thee”. James 4:7. My prayers are no longer lazy although there are days when I struggle to go into prayer before bed. My mornings are when I am most alert and ready to face a day with God at the forefront. I have also noticed my lack of interests in many things I did before. I no longer care so much for binge watching shows on netflix, I seek more spiritual food and guidance. Even my facebook time is spent on pages with spiritual content. The battle is on but I know that if God is for me who can be agaisnt me right?

My encouragment to every christian to to be vigilant always as the bible encourages us to be. We should long to spend time with God in prayer, We should seek to grow spiritually and it is through seeking and asking God and the Holy Spirit for guidance and these gifts that we can get closer to God. My prayer life has much further to go, but it gets easier and easier with time. I am always on guard and I know the devil hates my growth. He seeks to thwart my growth daily but guess what, I am more than a conqueror through him who has loved us. My prayers are more for seeking spiritual growth, thwarting the plots and plans of the powers of darkness, praying for my enemies, my nation, our leaders, society as a whole and the salvation of all those I know and love. I pray for every christian out there to get closer to God through prayer and supplication being always fervent and relentless agaisnt the enemy and for all Gos;s blessings to pour out> Pray over every single aspect of your life and always and forever seek to be holy like he is holy, for that is the essence of being a follower of Christ.

I hope this finds all in good health both physically and spiritually and that soem encouragement can be had here. Be blessed in the Lord.

He is faithful when I am not

I grew up on an island where everyone went to church and every family dressed up on Sunday or Saturday to go to worship. You knew those who went for the sake of going and those who were truly living the best christian life they could. I was just a product of a faith strong mother who persisted in making sure her brood chose God over anything else in life. Unfortunately, very few of that brood live a life in Christ today. I enjoyed worship and singing praises to God in our very small and unpopular church in my small village.Unpopular because if you were not catholic or methodist, you were seen as “other”. I had strong connections there, actually the church began in my grandparents home. My church friends were great and my mom made sure we went often. My dad stopped going to church at some point. My life was simple and predictable. I was over protected by a very overprotective father who would have hated to see me end up like many of my childhood peers, pregnant and no future on the island. Actually many made it out and did well for themselves. Facebook told me. My life revolved around home, school and church so I knew very little in the way of the world. When I came to America I was like a lost pup feeling its way around. and I felt my way around alright.

I finally tasted freedom. I could do what I wanted, go where I wanted to, be who I wanted to be. America promised so much and I easily got sucked into the culture and the lifestyle with my new found freedom. I still went to church, I still held on to some values but slowly over the years those would slip and I would find myself doing things I would feel guilty about later. I knew God watched. I knew that I knew better. I gave up my virginity to the first guy who wanted to date me, I never thought much of myself. I quickly ended that when I did not want to commit that sin anymore and then found a new boyfriend and we made a pact to be celibate. I did not want to sleep with him anyway so that was easy. Then I met my first husband and well, one thing led to another and we decided unwisely to get married. I had my son within one year, separated within another and there went the “what God has joined together…” part. I finally got a divorce many years later. Another sin I thought, a big one. I raised a son alone, I suffered depression, I stopped going to church, I met men and slept with men, Of course my son was shielded from this. I foolishly dated a man who promised his marriage was over, I dated another and another. I felt I had to have a guy always so as soon as one relationship ended( they normally lasted an average of 2 years) I found another. In general they were good upstanding men, just not the men who I should have been with. This cycle went on for years. I lied, I cheated, I dated atheists, agnostics, christian men. In just a few men, there was so much that was so wrong for me and I knew it every time. God would always be there. I knew I had to let go and I would hold on for dear life until life would rip that doomed relationship from me by force.

I am now remarried to a man I respect and who respects me. My son is now older and doing well. I have had so many ups and downs, financially, spiritually, emotionally and so many blessings in between. God never forsook me, and yes he has allowed me to feel pain of the consequences of my choices, but he always had a plan for taking me out of certain situations and putting me right back on track. Today I love God more than I ever have, and I strive to live for him daily. I seek him daily and I seek his direction in most my ways. I still struggle with my selfish desires. It is this constant battle that wills me to walk with more faith and trust in God. I read my word more often now, I have put my past behind me, though ashamed of it. I not perfect, no christian is. we are called to be holy like he is holy 1 Peter 1:15, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities…..Ephesians 6:12. To walk in Christ is not easy but if we keep our eyes on him, he makes it possible. I pray, I fast, I read and sing praises to him, daily. It is my source of strength in this world we now live in.

My encouragement to those who are out there seeking to live a life of holiness in Christ, your past is just that, your past. God forgives all sins as long as you confess them and seek to live according to Christ. Pray without ceasing, and praise God daily. Sing songs of praise, accept his guidance and his love. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow Isaiah 1:18. God is a forgiving and merciful God. he has a life to give more abundant than we can ever expect. why not choose his way? The world may promise you so much but I promise you in Christ you will know a peace that surpasses all understanding, guarding your hearts and mind in him Philippians 4:7. God is faithful even when we are not. And he still loves us with a love that no other being can ever guarantee us in this life. And he is seeking imperfect people who want to live a more peaceful life in him. I choose him because he chooses me every day at every moment.

The wonder of God keeps me in awe of him every day

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me! I welcome any who join me on my journey of faith and hloy living. I havve been a cchristian for many years but have only recently started taking my walk very seriously. I will posts very frank and open posts according to what my struggles are and what I think most christians struggle with. So welcome and I hope I can encourage someone.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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